Clubbing in Cambodia is almost the same as clubbing in London, only 80% of people are asian, and 30% of those are ladyboys.

Yesterday I actually got some pretty bad news, a friend died in a horrific accident. I wasn’t super close to him, but it’s always a big hit when someone you know suddenly disappears. I spent yesterday sitting in a gloomy place not doing much. Today thought I decided that the best thing to do would be to cheer up and enjoy life.

My day goes as follows:

Spa, Cake, Steak, Home, Siesta, Bubble Tea, Trinket buying, Home, Dress Up, Make-Up, Running Shoes, Clubs.

Club #1 – The Pontoon

It was actually a very slow start, we decided to go out at 10pm because my friends who I’m staying with are all Christians who go to church. The Pontoon main room was closed for a staff meeting (who holds that at that time and in that place?!) and so we sat in the lounge area for around 30 minutes (rather than the 10 they said it would take.)

Once the doors open the club filled up pretty quickly, which is saying a lot because the main room was large. There’s a fair sized bar in an oval shape at one end of the room, with the DJ backed against the wall on the opposite side. The ceilings were high and everything was lit in black light and the waitresses and barmen were dressed in black and white. The music was basically dubstep, starting off very slow.

We sat down, around 7 of us and took tequila shots. My friend Cate (the girl I’m staying with) wanted to dance straight  away, so the four girls went to the dance floor. Absolutely no one was on it, although all around were couples and groups sat drinking. With only four of us, it felt empty and the music wasn’t dance appropriate. However Cate started dancing, really lively, and the rest of us followed suit. It would have been a lot sadder if we didn’t. Plus, I wanted to shout “FUCK YOU” to the world because who cared what the other people in the club thought?

We danced for about 4 songs before going to get more drinks. By the time we came back a couple more people joined in on the dance floor and our group had added up to 14 so it didn’t look so sad.

I’ve always loved the beat of the club. I love the way the music tears through me, from the soles of my feet, vibrating up my legs and to my heart, which pumps it to my hands and my head.

I know for a fact I’m a terrible dancer. I dance like I’m in my room with no one watching. I danced because I wanted to and not to impress anyway. I felt my whole body tingle, felt the sweat drip down, between my breasts and down my legs. My hips moved by themselves, dipping and swaying. I touch my neck, slide my arms down my body which sinks lower to the floor.

I have very sexual thoughts when I dance. I think of riding the night with the force of the bass line. I think of dominating the pace, setting the tune, watching the face of my partner as he climaxes under me. I want to touch him, the invisible music that is my partner, making me reach my hands up. I thrust my breasts out, begging to be touched, but quickly roll my body back to say I’m untouchable.

My hair is tied up in a high pony tail, and I wish it were down but I don’t want to waste my time brushing it out of my face, which girls inevitably do.

The night is so young, so full of possibilities and I am so emotionally fucked, I want to be fucked. No alcohol, I don’t drink, but fucked from dancing and music and body interaction. I want it so much, I don’t think anyone can stop me…