Dude sex is a thing. It might sound like a loads of guys hanging out naked and calling each other “dude” but there’s more to it. When dudes get rude in the nude, two straight guys might have sex.
It might sound a bit bizarre to some people. If you’re straight, usually you’d only have sex with someone of the opposite sex. After all that’s what heterosexual literally means. Yet by free choice, some straight guys decide to have sex with each other and the reasons why probably won’t surprise you too much.
Lack of women
In certain circumstances straight men might have dude sex due to there not being any women around. This would be especially true in places like the army, boarding schools and prison. In situations where there aren’t any women that men can have sex with, they may turn to each other instead.
This doesn’t mean that they’re gay though. In all male environments, some men may struggle with sexual frustration. Rather than be unable to express their libido or doing so alone, some straight men turn to homosexual sex instead.
Masturbation with other male friends isn’t uncommon. The stories we hear about groups of guys getting together to jack off do hold truth to them. Part of this can be a matter of fraternal mischief or dares, showing off each other’s bodies or experimenting with homosexuality in a ‘macho’ way.
When two guys don’t have access to a woman but want to have sex, it’s not surprising that they might turn to each other. Straight men often report having gay sex as a matter of experimentation or simply fulfilling an urge.
Bromance
It doesn’t have to be all Brokeback Mountain style for two men to have sex. While some men who identify as straight may have gay sex due to being in denial, some are genuinely straight on a romantic aspect. Sexuality can apply to someone’s emotional interests and sexual ones.
A man may identify as straight and only be interested in dating women. Yet still engage in homosexual sex out of curiosity, finding it fulfils a kink or because he is close to that person.
Some men want to show off their junk or even masturbate with a friend. If it turns them on, it could easily lead to more. Equally, it may be a one off fun thing done when drunk or frustrated which becomes a friends with benefits situation.
Dude sex as a way of showing they’re not gay
Some men struggle with the idea of their masculinity being challenged. Although one would think that two men having sex with each other must mean that one or both of them are gay, according to Graham Gremore this isn’t the case. Gremore argues that some men actually have homosexual sex as a way of proving they’re not gay. Trying to change the narrative around homosexual sex as defiance.
“By understanding their same-sex sexual practice as meaningless, accidental, or even necessary, straight white men can perform homosexual contact in heterosexual ways…Ward argues that the real reason ‘straight’ men behave in these ways is to ‘reaffirm rather than challenge their gender and racial identity’ and ‘to leverage whiteness and masculinity to authenticate their heterosexuality in the context of sex with men.’ In other words: They do it to prove they’re not gay.”
Experimental sex
For men who are questioning their sexuality, they may think they’re straight but still want to experience sex with another man. It could be out of sheer curiosity for themselves, perhaps due to appreciating the male physique or someone’s personality. For pansexual people, getting on with someone is a requirement for sexual attraction.
Some men who think they’re straight could actually be gay but in denial about it. Having dude sex is meant to prove they aren’t into it but may then discover that they actually are. Often some men who act repulsed by homosexuality, turn out to be closet gays. Projecting disapproval in public to hide their internal desire for the same thing they claim to dislike.
For people who are into more alternative kinds of sex, they may seek a partner who is into certain activities and find only other men. Rather than not try that kink out altogether, straight men may have sex and other games with another man instead. Sometimes this is especially true when it comes to more extreme sadomasochism kinks which are popular in the gay male scene more so than in the heterosexual one.
Gay fantasies?
Obviously it can be about just fulfilling a fantasy of gay sex. For some men, dude sex is just a physical act to scratch an itch or gratify sexual attraction to a man. Without actually having any romantic attraction to that man or to other men in general.
Having gay fantasies is common. The Kinsey scale proves that human sexuality is much more fluid than we might think. Nobody is ever really 100% heterosexual or gay. Social attitudes and the culture we live in influences whether we actually act on our desires or follow the crowd.