When I first read this blog post comment I was sort of blown away. Never has anyone commented more than four sentences to my posts, but Kevin went beyond that and wrote an entire page. 957 words to be exact, a whole 8 words more than the original post itself. I thought for something that well thought out, the analysis should deserve a blog post of it’s own. I think it’s important to see different angles on situations because that’s the best way of learning and understanding the bigger picture. That being said, I can’t say I agree with it, nor would I have worded it quite…so…Hmm… Well, I’ll let you guys decide for yourself! I always welcome constructive criticisms.
She was obviously using you for the joyride. But I think your role in the relationship was beyond disturbing. It makes me question of kind of girl she was to take part in the whole charade. The aggression from the start definitely sets the entire relationship on the wrong path right away. Pain tears down love, and that kind of notion (wrestling, aggressive hair pulling) is like a declaration of war—fixing two girls as bitter rivals against each other.
Even though she appears to have taken the submissive role, her relaxed attitude to the rough intimacy makes me question if she possibly saw you as the inferior one. In this, it would mean that she was just soaking up everything you could throw at her as a testament against your dominance. As to say that you’re not as powerful as you think you are, and that she’s truly the greater one between you.
I find the whole S&M commands to be rather dreadful. The way you’ve presented it makes me think of a child walking in shoes three times his size. Not a romantic thing in the least, and very unappealing to me because of that—borderline creepy even.
╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭
Why Chicago? That’s such a dirty city—it wasn’t even in the butthole.
Nunnery is definitely a five-star British word—I saw it on the telly.
I question why you chose finger penetration. Was that a feminine instinct thing? In my experiences I always found penetration to be the dullest form of foreplay. I’d always just jam the hell out of my girl’s button until I felt like she was just being a glutton—and that’s when I’d stop, and force her to take a break. Never any safety words, or cum words—pretty sure there aren’t really any limits on that kind of thing. This fact itself suggests that she was just saying that to get you off of her. Your efforts must have begun to become obnoxious to her. Possible sarcasm war maybe?
The fact that you ditched out on her proves that you simply lost all interest in the affair, which makes a lot of sense to me if there wasn’t any real emotions involved. Once the hormones run dry, your heart just can’t take the absence of true intimacy. As I’ve said, no one wants love—they want true love.
Wouldn’t say retreat was a lack of focus on your part (as in you ditched her and left her high and dry after using her up), because there obviously wasn’t ever anything special between you both in the first place—no commitment from the very beginning. And despite this, I don’t believe you when you say you never had any emotional attachment for her. You must have had a lust for her body, but once your got a taste of it all—the fire died out and the glitter was gone.
This just goes to show how lust is a negative thing, because in your deprivation, you both took each other unwholesomely—and got used up. Desperation got the best of you. Lust—the negative reflection of love. Take this experience and learn how to identify lust. It’s not just any desire for intimacy or affection, it’s the desire of it in a way that leads to the consequences of dangerous things.
This little event would have been left you both desolated if it had been with a man. Not that either of you walked away from this without any damage, because your haunting memory appears obvious to me. Luckily? Women tend to feel preserved when they’re intimate with other women (apposed to with men). Not exactly sure why, but that tends to be the case.
There is a fatal flaw in that logic though, because exposure is exposure—and even if you’re just spamming solo sessions, you’re still making contact and wearing yourself out. Too much of any of that is going to be a bad thing. It’s far better to reserve yourself and take a focused stance on sexual matters from what I’ve learned. I’ve always strived for something wholesome, but as I matured—my focus has become strict and solemn.
I’ve matured to a point where I see all casual sexual interests as immature. I take intimacy very seriously. Why ever settle for less than something special? All you get is a moment of pleasure, and what it costs you is a piece of yourself that you can’t ever get back. You’ll have to lie to yourself and downplay the price you’ve paid just to get by, and once you pick up that habit—it’s all downhill from there. You’ll end up in a spam of meaningless intimacies, hollowing yourself out—all the while telling yourself you’ve still got it—a notion you can’t even take seriously alongside that empty feeling between your legs (and the other one in your heart). You’ll be haunted by the fact that you know you’re lying to yourself, so just say no—just say no. It’s just not worth it.
People tend to take sexual intimacy far too lightly. They fail to see the danger in sexual obsession and overexposure. They just give in to their weakness instead. Not to say anyone is to be immune to these desires—because as humans we all need emotional sustenance to survive. It’s not totally an unacceptable thing if your need to let loose at times. It’s just important to know where to draw the line. To understand the importance of reserving yourself, and not aiding to the sexual delinquency of others.
Beyond all else—this whole thing appears to be one big mistake you’ve made—and what matters most now is that you can learn from these mistakes so you never have to deal with this nightmare again. Just do that.