We asked Mr Pinks to review Brazzers, arguably the world’s most notorious porn site. Go traveling and bring up porn and someone somewhere will mention “the Brazzers” with a sly grin – and with good reason! Brazzers’ parade of archetypal pornstars engaging in cartoonish hardcore shenanigans makes it impossible to forget.
With 33 sites devoted to porn’s most enduring niche interests – “lesbian” sex, anal, busty women and big dicks, teens, MILFs, and out-there fantasies – Brazzers is a porno empire truly epic in scope.
After 13 years, Brazzers now offers so much smut that it can be hard to know where to start. A look at the most current updates shows pornstars of all ranks and wild newcomers throwing themselves into some zany scenarios with some curious results.
Brazzers’ pornstars
Keeping a well-stocked, frequently updated roster of performers for its stable of (largely British) cocksmen to work with, Brazzers is famous for shooting anal debuts, first DPs, and introducing new women and men to its global audience.
Brazzers’ pornstars include porn’s most famous names like Ariana Marie and Aaliyah Hadid join more established talents like Ava Addams and all are given a profile page outfitted with basic bio and stats. Although it features a good number of natural women, Brazzers certainly has a “type”: big hair, big tits, big ass, and lots of silicone, saline, and Botox.
If such women, along with the tattooed and anal-obsessed, don’t do art for you, Brazzers may be of little interest. Brazzers House, a cross between American Gladiators, Jersey Shore, and the X Factor, and The Exxxceptions, set in a dystopian future Earth populated by 99.99% men, are just two of the many big-budget Brazzers feature series providing its stars a chance to flex their (admittedly modest) dramatic muscles.
Content
Dealing in sex the way McDonald’s deals in nutrition, Brazzers has a distinct style all its own. A natural progression from the glamor porn of the 90s, the larger than life models, characters, scenarios, and sex acts are gussied up with lavish costumes and sets.
From slutty shoe saleswomen to big picked pizza boys, yoga sessions turned orgies, and home invasions resulting in kinky bondage play, all the way to utterly ludicrous Egyptian-inspired goddess-fucking fantasies complete with living python, this is inarguably the place for porn unconstrained by reality. The sex is heavy on anal, dirty talk, and exaggerated displays of pleasure.
This can push some scenes way past the point of believability and have you starting to wonder what the hell you’re watching, extreme hentai or American mainstream porn? That said, Brazzers is the best at what it does and it’s only getting better. Slow-motion teases and cumshots recaps are the latest tricks to end up in Brazzers’ magic back and they’re a joy to behold.
Usability
Clearly arranged and a colorful place to browse yourself into a frenzy, the Brazzers network hub easily connects you to the latest hardcore updates, each and every Brazzers site, and all the top ZZ models.
The real pleasures arrive once you’ve selected a scene: tagged shortcuts allow you to jump to your favorite sex act or position, and videos play smoothly and in strong detail whether streamed or downloaded in 1080p and 720p HD formats.
As a major porno player, you can expect Brazzers to be a smooth experience with minimal or no interruptions or dead-ends. Downloads and streams transfer quickly and smoothly with MP4 being the favored format.
Photo galleries offer similar bells and whistles to videos and showcase 2500px shots, most even more visually powerful than their video counterparts. Search tools and keyword tags are in strong supply here to help you find exactly what you’re after.
And, with an average of two daily updates, there’s enough going on at Brazzers that being well oriented is a definite advantage. There is perhaps a little too much advertising with a number of banners just begging to be cleared before you start.
Suggested viewing below each video window usually points in appropriate directions while wandering into other areas of interest, too. Mobile viewing is supported and poses no significant problems for viewers on the go.
Longevity
Brazzers tends to attack new porn trends and sex fads with gusto, and has recently indulged in step-cest, cuckolding, hot-wifing, and plenty of cosplay (Power Rangers, Star Wards, Game of Thrones etc).
While trends die out and these scenes may lose their appeal over time, the devotion to pop-culture seen here ensures there’s enough lively new concepts arriving to keep things interesting. Updates hit at least once daily, usually twice, and there are more than 8000 scenes already online
Value
Standard monthly Brazzers membership runs $29.99 with lower rates for multi-month packages. This buys members unlimited downloads and streaming, access to all Brazzers sites and series, and the chance to interact with Brazzers stars, creators, and fans.
With such a huge archive and mostly exclusive content – aside from DVD releases, Brazzers can be found all over the ‘net in samples, previews, and digest-size episodes – and, as a studio clearly not content to let porn languish in the predictable, your satisfaction with Brazzers really comes down to a matter of taste.
Do you prefer your porn vaguely realistic and to have genuine amorous chemistry between performers? Or are you more inclined to ramp up the gamma on a 1080p cosplay POV romp and lose yourself in fantasy? If it’s the latter, Brazzers is surely for you. If the former, you won’t remain enthralled here long.