Tying up your girlfriend might sound like the ultimate fantasy. But sometimes learning the ropes needs some more guidance. Literally learning about rope! So keep reading to learn how to tie someone up and become a master of bondage. 

Bondage can be erotic fun which is both kinky and creative. Whether you want to be tying up your girlfriend for a bondage session or just a photo shoot is up to you. There are obvious safety concerns involved with any kind of restraint. Plus there are ways to make it more enjoyable for both of you.

Comfort and safety should always be a big concern. With any kind of bondage, whether it’s for a short session, genuine restraint, erotica or anything else you should play safe.

Do’s and don’t’s when it comes to tying someone up

When you first try tying up your girlfriend, it’s worth learning the basics of rope. But before you get anywhere near rope, it’s best to follow the following basic guidelines.

  • Before starting any bondage session, discuss what you’re both comfortable with.
  • If your girlfriend has any injuries, make sure to avoid tying these areas as it could cause discomfort or further damage.
  • You should always have a pair of shears/scissors/secateurs/a blade on hand that will cut any rope or restraint you’re working with. Remember that you should never tie anyone up unless you can undo it quickly if needed.
  • As a beginner to rope, you should make sure your girlfriend has her skin covered. I’ve found that gym leggings and a long sleeved top are usually the most comfortable options. This will help avoid any accidental friction burns caused by clumsy bondage.
  • When you start, you should keep any knots you do loose enough to undo easily. Don’t try doing anything too elaborate before you’ve learnt the basics.
  • NEVER tie anything around her neck. While it might sound erotic, this can be incredibly dangerous and could strangle her if it goes wrong.
  • NEVER try suspension until you’ve learnt rope properly and have extra help on hand. It should not be attempted by amateurs as it can lead to injuries and death if it fails.

Rope

An obvious dilemma might be not knowing what to tie your girlfriend up with. While many people opt for normal DIY store rope, this can sometimes be too rough. Some beginners will start using scarves or ties and other normal household things.

Using soft items like scarves is fine and can be fun for impromptu bondage. But it isn’t really that effective at proper restraints and will likely spoil the clothing used. You can instead try soft ropes designed for newbies but I find these can be quite slippy and not hold knots very well.

Ultimately it depends on what you (the rigger) and your girlfriend (rope bunny) prefer. If you just want to tie her wrists together or to the bedposts for instance, a soft rope will likely be fine. But if you aren’t as confident with knots, using some easy cuffs might be good to start.

The first time you try tying up your girlfriend, it makes sense to practice basic knots. When you first start out, I’d personally recommend sticking to ‘bows’ which are easy to undo by tugging through the loop.

While I’ll talk you through my top 2 knots for beginners, you might find it helpful to watch video tutorials and look at photos of how to do them correctly.

Ladder tie

An essential knot to learn is a ‘ladder tie.’ This is one of the simplest knots you can start with and is still effective. If you practice on your own, it’s easy to do this on your legs. You can sit down with your legs in front of you, either on a chair or the floor. You take the rope and pass it under your legs and bring it around to the front. Secure this with a basic knot.

Then bring the rope up higher and hold it in the centre of your legs, while holding it in place pass it around underneath on the left side and slip it around the piece already in the middle. Then pass it back over to the right and tuck it under the rope. You can then use the tail to continue the ladder above or below this knot.

Ladder ties are good for securing limbs together or attaching limbs to other objects such as chair legs. When you first try it, just do it on your own legs while you get confident then try it with your girlfriend. This needs tension to maintain the shape when tying up your girlfriend but you can keep it loose initially.

Column tie

This is another basic knot for tying up your girlfriend. Column ties are easy and very effective when doing simple bondage or more advanced restraints. Plus you can combine column ties with the pattern created by ladder ties. I would say this is a better knot than the ladder.

To do this, you need to wrap the rope around the legs/arms twice then loop the tail around it and tie at the front. This will bring the items close together and if tied properly, will stop any attempt to move them apart. I usually use this on my legs if working on column ladder.

Column ties tend to use up more rope than ladders due to the wrapping involved. It can also be slightly more risky that you could have marks left afterwards. When you start out, wearing thicker clothes can help and keeping the knots loose enough to wiggle may help.

As with any kind of bondage, you need a certain level of tension to maintain the knot. But you should always make sure your girlfriend is comfortable and you can undo it as needed. When you ‘cinch’ the knot, this will determine how tight the column is.

Learning more about bondage

Once you’ve learnt the essential ties, you can use these in more advanced bondage. Whether you’re aiming to tease, restrain or want to create rope clothing, the sky is the limit.

Key points to remember is that the amount of friction you use in a knot will decide how tight it stays. When you practice bondage, you should balance the tying up with pleasuring your girlfriend. It’s not much fun for anyone if you tie her up like a pretzel and can’t undo her.

For more ideas on how to get started, I recommend The Twisted Monk. Not only can you buy good quality rope from his website but there are some useful ‘How to’ videos which will teach you more basic rope skills.

Always remember that good sex aftercare is important. Both for you and your partner! Now if someone can come help me undo myself it would be very helpful…