How to fist a vagina – think of vaginal fisting being like stuffing a turkey but instead it’s a vagina! You’re curious about putting your hand inside a warm, sticky cavity… just don’t expect to carve it up afterwards!
Vaginal fisting is one of the more extreme fetishes you’ll likely come across in porn. When it comes to doing large insertions, dildos and fists go hand in hand. Fisting takes fingering to a whole new level and is a more niche activity than most, commonly appearing within the BDSM scene.
Knowing how to fist a vagina properly obviously takes skill and care. As with most things, patience is a virtue and lubrication is your best friend. This kink is one which can be pleasurable for all partners involved but needs to be done safely.
Preparing for fisting
When you decide that you (and your girlfriend lets you) want to try fist a vagina, it may be hard to know where to start. Before you even get in the bedroom though there are some ways to prepare that you shouldn’t skip!
- Lube. Buying the right lubricant for fisting will make the whole process much easier and more enjoyable. The kind of lube you use for everyday sex or masturbation probably won’t cut it here. During fisting, you really need to invest in something longer-lasting and ideally water based. Some lubes are specially designed for fisting and are made to be thicker.
- Nail clippers. Now is definitely the time you should invest in nail clippers. Even if you ordinarily chomp on your fingers to keep them down, now is the time to clip. You want to keep everything hygienic and neat. All edges should be smoothed down with a nail file and kept extra short. Because being scratched during sex isn’t fun anyway but having a tear inside your vagina is much worse.
- Wash your hands and forearms. Before you start any hands play you should make sure you wash them thoroughly. Keeping everything clean will improve hygiene and reduce risks of any infection if there were a tear.
- Buy gloves or “fisting mittens.” Wearing latex gloves during fisting can be advisable as it sometimes allows for smoother penetration. Latex and lube of course needs some planning to make sure you use something latex-friendly. Water based is better when it comes to latex and is readily available.
- Warm up. Before you try stuffing your hand in there you need to warm up to fisting. Use sex toys, foreplay and sex to help your girlfriend relax.
- Take off any jewellery. Any rings or watches will be in the way during fisting so take them off. Also if she has any genital piercings, it’s best you make sure they are fully healed before stretching the skin around it.
Fisting – safe words
Before you even think about getting naked, you need to be able to maintain good communication with your girl. Talk about safety limits to understand what both of you would like to do and what would be too much. Establish a “safe word” that your partner can use during fisting to let you know if things need to stop.
A popular “safe word” system is using traffic light colours as a code.
Green = “All is good, it’s enjoyable. Keep going.”
Yellow/Orange = “I’m okay for now but be careful with it and be gentler.”
Red = “It’s too much, we need to stop.”
You can also choose another word which isn’t sexual to use as a safe word. Sometimes simply saying, “No” or “Too hard” can be in conflict with what you really mean during a roleplay scenario. Hence choosing a safe word that is totally unrelated, like “candyfloss” will work better for communicating hard limits.
If it’s the first time either of you have ever tried fisting you should do your research on this kink beforehand. While if one of you has tried to fist a vagina before it but the other hasn’t or you both have done it but it’s your first time together, you should also talk about your expectations.
Fisting – expectations
Fisting is a more extreme BDSM kink which isn’t really suitable for beginners. Normally people who identify as a masochist (someone who enjoys pain) and have a higher pain threshold like fisting. It pushes your body to the limit and needs to be tailored to each girl as all bodies/fists are different sizes.
Porn videos heavily influence the expectations people have around porn. When you watch a video which goes from one finger to a whole fist in 5 minutes, you can easily forget that isn’t reality. All porn videos are edited for maximum viewer enjoyment and erotic factor.
In reality, fisting is an activity which takes longer to prepare for and to do safely. Porn videos won’t show you the preparation a girl does before fisting, the full length of physical warm up or the sheer amount of lube used. Nor show you the sex aftercare practised afterwards to keep the woman comfortable.
Plus when you watch a relatively short 30 minute video, in reality there’s probably hours of footage which were edited out or not even filmed due to being “prep” rather than actual action.
Remember also that when you decide to fist a vagina, you don’t actually have to put in your whole fist. You should never try putting in your whole fist immediately as it’s a large flattish surface which would be painful.
How to fist a vagina – step by step
When you’re ready to actually try fist a vagina, you need to start from scratch. Get into the mood and turn each other on through kissing and foreplay. You should both be excited to have sex and to try fisting rather than get too nervous about it.
Showering together and giving her a full body massage can be a super sensual way to get ready for intimacy. Or at least having extensive foreplay! Use lube throughout when you start touching her intimately. You want to start off by touching her externally before using any toys or fingers.
Fingering should introduce one finger at a time to let her stretch slowly. Combine this with a bullet vibrator on her clit and gentle thrusts with your fingers to really get her going. Check that the lube is compatible with the sex toys you use too.
When you start any insertion, you should start off with getting your girlfriend aroused and relaxed. Then begin penetration with something small before you gradually increase size and speed of anything internal. Putting a condom over any sex toys will also help keep everything clean.
Fingers into a fist
Throughout any physical warm up period, re apply lube regularly to let it glide in and reduce friction. If your girlfriend begins to tighten up, go back a step and gradually let her adjust. When she’s ready to move on from toys, you can put on a fisting glove and begin by putting in a single finger slowly.
Finger her gently before you increase the number, ideally re apply lube with each finger and vary the sensations. Fingering can be a simple in/out motion or might feel good for her if you twist your fingers or curl them internally. Talk to your girlfriend to find out what she enjoys best.
When you’ve worked up towards 4 fingers you are nearly there for fisting. As long as she’s enjoying what you’re doing and it’s comfortable you can progress to putting the 5th finger in. Applying more lube will help if you want to try and slide your hand in further over the knuckles.
Curving your hand will help it slide in rather than keeping it flat like a salute. Gently ease it in and out of her while regularly applying lube. Check it’s pleasurable for her and that you’re not twisting her skin too much if you rotate your hand.
Once you pass the knuckles your hand should taper again towards your wrist. This section ought to be easier to insert and allow for more pleasure as you rotate. While your hand is busy, use your other to touch her clit or elsewhere on her body. Combine fisting her with oral attention to really give her more bliss.
It’s up to you both whether you attempt to go further than the wrist. But for the early fisting sessions it’s better to err on the side of caution. If your girl starts to get sore, be gentler or pause the session for a while to stay safe.
Fisting aftercare
After any fisting activity, you should make sure your partner is okay. Talk about the experience and discuss anything either of you especially liked or think you could improve on. Good sex after care is always important after any activity but especially after something more hard core. Keep an eye on her vagina in the days that follow and if there’s any bleeding, take note.
Extreme insertions like fisting often can cause small tears internally or externally. Small spots of blood is normal and shouldn’t last more than a day, however if there is more blood than just spotting she should see a doctor.
Any aches or cramps immediately after fisting again are to be expected but if these persist again you should seek medical attention. Take a break before you try penetrative play again and make sure she’s comfortable when you do.
That’s it – that was our guide on how to fist a vagina. Happy fisting!