NoFap promotes better sex lives and sexual health. If you take time to focus on improving intimacy and build your relationship, it’s usually a good thing. It can be healthy to take a break from masturbation and porn.
Yet there are also concerns that the NoFap premise may have darker undertones to it. Could the NoFap movement actually be counterproductive to the goals it claims to champion? Here at Sugarcookie we decided it was time to discuss NoFap as a movement and whether it’s a cult or a real practice with true, confirmed benefits.
Porn, masturbation and sex can all influence relationships in different ways. Having control of your sex life is important, both for you and your partner as it helps you communicate needs and know what you enjoy. But you have to strike the balance right to keep things in horny harmony.
What is NoFap?
NoFap started in June 2011 to provide an online resource and support network. Designed to help people who want to avoid porn and masturbation. While also claiming to help support people who have partners, friends and family members who may have issues with pornography.
The founder, Alexander Rhodes, created the site after reading that men who refrain from masturbation for 7 days experience a 145.7% spike in testosterone levels at the end of the week. Rhodes set up the site to help men tackle their challenges with masturbation and their relationship with porn.
NoFap originally ran weekly and monthly challenges for its’ users while establishing a day counter system to help users achieve their own personal goals. Typically this being fapstinence – abstinence from fapping.
The community provides a form space for users to discuss their views and challenges around pornography. Sharing personal experiences can be a positive form of recovery for many addictions, as is commonly done in drug and alcohol recovery groups.
However NoFap is not completely secular as while some users are atheist, others are more strictly religious and can be a bit preachy about ‘the perils of pornography.’ Membership is open to men and women to use the resources available.
Porn addiction
Being addicted to pornography is a real problem for some people. Which influences their relationships in negative ways and causes them emotional upheaval. For many people, watching porn is a kind of entertainment like any other and it’s just enjoyable. Though for some, porn addiction becomes a problem when someone feels unable to stop watching it or relies on it for arousal.
Having a healthy sex life doesn’t prevent you from watching porn or masturbating at all. NoFap suggests that stopping masturbation and porn consumption altogether is the only option. When in reality, it’s like anything – balance is best. If you have a healthy attitude towards porn, you can maintain balance in life and not form an addiction.
For most people, porn is recognised as a fantasy version of sex which is fun. We are all aware that porn appears to promote certain stereotypes about both men and women. Whether it’s down to how people look, what activities people enjoy, the best sex positions and even just the order of things in the bedroom. Porn is a fantasy though and having sexual fantasies is normal and healthy.
The issue arises when someone uses porn in excess to the point that their arousal is entirely dependent on watching porn. This affects relationships by making individuals less sensitive to real life stimulation without it being on a screen or only liking certain kinds of sex which they see in porn. Variety is the spice of life, in nearly all ways. So keeping a balance on your sexual interests is generally a good thing.
Critics of NoFap
David J. Ley (2015) criticises NoFap as having “simplistic” and “naive ideas” which “promote a sad, reductionistic and distorted view of male sexuality and masculinity.” While NoFap might not be a cult in its’ founding years, the risk of it promoting wrong versions of male sexuality can cause issues.
Taylor and Jackson (2018) analysed the contents of NoFap forums and found that some members rejected feminist critiques of pornography. Some believe men are dominant seekers of pleasure while women are expected to supply such pleasure. Misplaced expectations of gender dominance and submission can be problematic.
NoFap is accused of being a cult on the basis that some of the content makes religious and/or scientific claims without any solid evidence. Some of the fundamentalist views expressed on the site suggest that ejaculation wastes spiritual energy. While other claims support the idea that pornography is completely immoral and corrupts good virtues.
As long as you’re happy with your porn and masturbation habits, there’s no issue though. Medically speaking, experts have confirmed that there is nothing wrong with masturbation. It’s a healthy, normal part of human sexuality that can be explored safely. Whether you masturbate by yourself or with a partner is a matter of free choice.
Is it good to take a break from masturbation?
Some people find that it can be good to take a break from masturbation and porn. Sex should excite you and if you only watch one kind of porn for a long time, it gets dull. You may find that things that used to excite you now don’t have any effect. Or that while it turns you on, you can’t climax to it without watching something more hardcore.
When someone masturbates the same way all the time, it can sometimes be a struggle to climax any other way. So taking a break from porn or masturbation can sometimes be good for your sex life. It lets you connect with reality and engages you more with your partner or real life stimulation instead. This encourages you to connect to your partner and explores the things that really make you tick.
We all know that sexual arousal starts in the mind as well as in the muscle. Real life stimulates you in a way which porn can’t, the sensations and interaction with your girlfriend fulfils a tactile experience. Instead of just being aroused mentally by what you’re seeing and letting your body respond to it. Real sex is organic and lets you enjoy someone else’s touch rather than your own.
There’s no reason to say that anyone has to take a break from masturbation though. It’s entirely down to you as an individual and how you enjoy your own sexuality.