In response to my recent article on how to kiss a girl, it seems that a lot of people are more interested in what happens after a successful kiss! The art of foreplay has been written on various websites, there’s so many ways of doing it it’s kind of hard to write it down in a single article. However there are some basic rules I’d apply to nearly all situations.
Kissing as foreplay
For me, foreplay (in the bedroom) starts with the kiss. I love kissing. It’s probably the biggest turn on for me; when a guy knows exactly what to do with his tongue. It’s engaging. In my head, it’s like having sex without actually having sex. Remember when you were a teenager and you’d have uber long make-out sessions with your highschool girlfriend? Kissing involves both parties, and everything you could apply to sex, you can apply to kissing. If you get this part down, I’d say you’re already half way there and that’s the beauty of the art of foreplay!
- Tease her… For me this shows the man knows what he’s doing and setting the pace from the start. Don’t be a viking and just go ramming your tongue in and pillaging! You have to show you’re in control, and maybe that involves holding back a little at first. Kiss her tentatively, slowly start frenching, pull back, nibble her bottom lip or something. Do everything except go crazy, and when she pushes for more, pull back a little more. Playing hard to get goes both ways.
- I like deep kisses. I don’t know if this is for everyone, but like sex, I’m rarely satisfied with “Just the tip”. So when you’re done with the tentative stuff, and you’re ready to get in there – the moment when you feel she really, really wants it, then give it to her. Now you can be firm and hard and rough. I like it rough, she probably does too.
- The point is – keep it diverse. There’s so many ways to kiss a girl, and like sex, it’s good to keep mixing it up and changing the pace or position.
- Focus on other body parts too. Kissing the neck, breasts, stomach and thighs – all things I’m sure you’d think of. Light, ticklish kisses or slow lingering ones. Try not to slobber though! You want to get her wet, but probably not in that way! That being said, it’s good to taste her a little 😉
- Other places I’ve noticed girls like being kissed are the inside of the wrists and leading up the arm as well as legs and feet. Really, I don’t think there’s an area you can’t kiss!
- Surprise her when you’re kissing her body to occasionally going to the danger zones. For instance around her breasts, take one nipple and start sucking on it, then leave it and move on. She might feel frustrated that you’ve just left it, but that’s part of the teasing. A
Touching as foreplay
The number of times a guy just goes straight for the honey pot has been frustrating. Girls already think you only want them for one thing, so prove to them that you don’t! Whilst they say guys are very visual in their arousal, women are more imaginative. So take your time, and let her mind go wild with the things she’s going to want you to do.
- Touch her body before she’s naked. There’s nothing like teasing when there’s a barrier. Running your hands down her body whilst she still has her dress on, cupping her bum and grinding yourself against her. That’s pretty hot. Dry humping doesn’t sound sexy, but have you ever made the motions of sex without actually having it? Think using your entire body to move against her.
- I don’t know if there’s a name for this move, but do you know what I love a guy doing? Putting his leg between mine. Ok that sounds confusing, so here’s what I mean. You’re kissing me, you start to play with my breasts, it’s all good. But what position are you in? If you’re lying down next to me, maybe propped up on one arm or something, then just shift over onto your side and get one leg wedged between mine. Really push it in there, like how a girl would position herself when cuddling. Know what I mean? It’s a way of connecting with her lower half, whilst you’re playing with her upper half. Why does it feel good when a guy does it? Probably for the same reason lesbians like to scissor. Seriously, clitoral stimulation can be done without directly touching the clitoris! I also like the fact the guy can be seen entirely focused on my breasts and yet my mind can’t help thinking of other parts!
- Make her touch you. It’s a win-win situation. Rather than just wait for her to touch you, guide her. Place her hands on your chest, prompt her to touch you. Most of the time a guy will only do this to direct a girl to his penis, and once she starts touching it, it feels like job done. However you know how you like to be touched, so why not wrap your hands around her hands as she wraps it around your cock? You can control how hard she squeezes or how fast and slow she pumps.
- Equally make her touch herself. Again use your hands to guide her hands. There’s also something very erotic about the extra body contact in my opinion. There’s a reason we call it “Art of foreplay”.
Perfect foreplay spots
It’s a rule that foreplay has to start in the bedroom. In fact, there’s little things you can do to raise the sexual awareness and tension on a date before you get back to her/your place. However when you get back there’s no reason you have to go straight to the bed.
- There is something about spontaneity that’s a big turn on. Coming into the hallway and having the guy hug you from behind, turning you around and start kissing you. No time to take of your coat, just standing there, or maybe leaned against the door itself.
- By doing things outside the bedroom you add to the thrill. Daily living space turns into sexy space. The idea is that you want her so much you can’t keep your hands off her! I remember my ex-girlfriend and I ended up having a game where, when we went back to her place, she’d offer to make coffee and as she was getting the cups and stuff I would try my best to distract her. If I could make her aroused enough that she ignored the kettle boiling, I won, and if she made the coffee, she won. At first I ended up drinking a lot off coffee, but after a while, the anticipation for it did my work for me!
- I have to say with my last lover, our “thing” was to have a bath. Actually, I think it was more his thing, but damn did I love it. There’s something extremely appealing in a relaxing bath, it changes the entire pace and mood of the night, but you’re still in a small space – naked and wet. What’s not to love? In Japan lovers take showers before doing the deed, it’s kind of a no-negotiation thing actually. However showering with your lover is a pretty fantastic way to do things…
Oral sex as foreplay
Maybe the most obvious form? I’m not sure. Oral isn’t a necessity and there’s a bit of a cult thing about how girls will give blowjobs for special occasions and stuff… but I’ve always found it a huge turn on. I do just like giving head though. Also I’ve always been nervous receiving oral, but I’m a little more used to it now. I do think however most girls enjoy it a lot more than I do. It’s a good way to let her relax and do nothing whilst you work on making her wetter. Girls also have the magical power to have multiple orgasms so why not make her cum before you even do it? You can relax then too because you’ll have less pressure knowing she’s already orgasmed once!
The art of Foreplay
So there you have it. Some basic tips and rules on the art of foreplay – there’s obviously an endless list of variations and things to do though. Part of the fun is discovering that with your partner, as everyone is different. There’s little things that will be unique to just you two. Also there are always exceptions to the rule, so don’t believe it when people say foreplay is a must. Sometimes I like to just get stuck straight in! If that’s how the mood is going then don’t slow it down by hours of kissing! It’s best to use your judgement on the mood in these situations.