Porn has it’s own brand of logic, and the few times you actually notice the plot (what?! There’s a plot?!) you come to realise just how silly they can be! I’ve decided to try and find the most insane ones and I need you to help me find the most ridiculous reality porn sites!
Firstly, to clarify what reality porn is, it’s basically porn that’s trying to pass off as something that would happen in reality. Most of it is done knowing full well that the ideas and scenario are unbelievable but they are trying to sell a fantasy that you need to relate to on some level. The most easily identifiable ones would be the plumber coming over to “fix pipes”, or other such servicemen that come over to “fix” something. The logic makes sense, since you need to introduce the male character, and you add spice and variety if it’s someone other than a boyfriend or husband. But how they get from “Hey, my toilet is broken!” to “Let’s have sex now!” has always baffled me. A great scene would be this intro from a german porn that actually points it out (but they still end up having sex!)
Warum liegt hier überhaupt Stroh rum? - Why is there straw anyway?
“Why is there straw everywhere?”
“Why are you wearing a mask?”
Also who doesn’t know the “Pizza Delivery Guy” scenario? Guy comes to deliver your pizza and in the thrill of getting pizza you decide you need to have sex. BigSausagePizza.com cuts straight to the chase (almost) by having the sausage on the pizza the penis. It’s an actual dick in a box. For some reason though, the women don’t go “Dude, you’ve cut a hole in my pizza and the pizza box and you’re literally letting the box dangle from your erect schlong.” Nope, instead they’re thinking “Wow, I’m so hungry, sucking on a penis is exactly what I needed!” – I think the cherry on top is how they never do eat the pizza… but then I guess some guy’s junk was on it.
How about the infamous duck man scene? That one really makes no sense. Woman is in bathtub, and some how her rubber ducky turns into a man (wearing a duck mask) and they have sex. Who even comes up with this stuff? I’m not complaining though, I think it’s hilarious, and sometimes I’m really in the mood for watching porn for the plot. I’ve decided however that what I really want to do is compile a list of the most ridiculous reality porn sites or scenes and I need to find some more, for research purposes of course! So if you have any nominations for the most ridiculous reality porn sites then please tweet them at me and we’ll come up with the ultimate guide!