We all like to think we’re porn stars in bed yet sometimes we say things you should never say during sex. It’s best to keep away from cringe inducing phrases and vulgar words if you want to avoid a sticky situation. Here is the list of 7 things you should never say during sex.
It can be awkward knowing what to say when making love. There are some obvious mistakes in bed that you should avoid, like calling her by the wrong name or talking about your parents. Mentioning another girl probably won’t go down well and deserves to be on the list of things you should never say during sex.
Yet then it leaves you with too much scope to find the right things to say. When you’re trying to find things to say in bed to turn her on, it can be hard to know just what suits her. Women’s moods can change all the time and what one woman finds hot during sex talk, another women might dry up over.
When it comes to hot words to say in bed, we know that women like to be complimented and to feel sexy. But finding the right things can be a whole other ballgame altogether! If you avoid saying these buzz kill lines, you’ll increase your odds of making her happy.
This is our top 7 list of things you should never say during sex! If you want to have sex with her again anyway!
1. “Hairy pussy” is one of the things you should never say during sex
Now whether you like the natural bush or not, commenting on it when you’re having sex is one of the most common mistakes men make in bed. Some girls may feel self conscious and take it as a criticism or worry whether you like it. If you say, “Wow that’s a hairy pussy,” unless she knows you like bush, she probably won’t be keen on the phrase.
If you are a fan of a lady-garden, letting your girlfriend know that is good. She’ll be happy that you find it sexy and there are good ways of saying that. But avoid the word ‘hairy’ as most of the time it’s used in a negative context and it’s definitely one of the things you should never say during sex.
You could say, “Your pussy is beautiful/I love this” while stroking her down there. Or if you’re comfortable together, even comment that her bush looks sexy. But until you’ve established yourselves in the bedroom, don’t risk upsetting her. It may be the last time you see it!
Making any comment that any part of a woman’s body is hairy won’t go down well. Not her legs, pits, arms, bush or anywhere. The only hair you can safely compliment is the hair on her head. And even then you might accidentally put your foot in it.
‘Hairy’ is a word women usually associate with being negative or dirty. In a society where we feel under pressure to be hairless, scentless perfectly groomed beings, it can cause us to stress. I found this awesome joke that I thought I’d share with you guys…
“What do parsley and pubes have in common?”
“You push them aside and keep eating!”
Now I laughed at this one and it’s true, you can move any lady garnish aside and keep eating. But if you do get a stray pube in your mouth, don’t make a scene. I know how it feels mid blowjob to get a curly thing on my tongue but you can power through it…
2. Calling her by the wrong name
This is pretty self explanatory but don’t call her by the wrong name. If you’re in bed with Susan, don’t call her Sally. Especially not if your ex girlfriend was Sally or her best friend/sister/mom is called Sally – you’ll probably get glared at.
Bad dirty talk is one of the big mistakes in bed that guys make. Saying, “You’re such a sexy girl,” might sound a little cheesy but it’s less risky than, “You’re such a sexy bitch.” Sure, David Guetta might get away with having a song called, ‘Sexy bitch’ but even he edited it to ‘sexy chick’ during daytime air play.
Censoring your language is a good call if you’re unsure what your partner likes. In a relationship, you probably know what names your girlfriend is okay with. But if you have any doubts, you should ask. Alternatively, in the early stages of a relationship you might not know so again – asking her is a safer way of doing things.
Names like: ‘bitch’, ‘whore’ and ‘slut’ are provocative to say the least. Some women will be OK with them during sex when you’re both in the mood. Especially during domination/submission play or some role plays. But keeping to words like, ‘babe/baby’, ‘honey’, ‘girl’, ‘sweetie’ and ‘chick’ are safer when it comes to what to say when making love.
‘Baby’ or ‘little girl’ in certain role plays might be OK if you’re both into the DDLG scene. But if you start baby talking your girlfriend when you don’t know if she’s into that, it might be a real turn off and definitely deserves to be on the list of things you should never say during sex.
3. You’re so hot
Giving a girl a compliment when you’re in bed is nice. But saying something as generic as, “you’re so hot” can be annoying. If you want to compliment a girl, say something which is personal to her rather than a thing which you could say to anybody.
If what she’s doing feels extra good, you can say that, “I love the way you’re squeezing me” or “It feels really great when you do that with your tongue.” But just saying, “You’re so hot” or “That’s hot” doesn’t feel very intimate or personal to us. Plus it’s vague!
Adding onto this, there are some hot words to say in bed which are better than “hot.” Everyone hears ‘sexy’, ‘cute’, ‘beautiful’ and ‘pretty’ all the time. Instead of going for a generic compliment, tell her that she’s ‘gorgeous and funny’ or has ‘womanly curves’ rather than just saying she’s ‘thick.’
Also try to keep away from mistakes in bed where you say vulgar terms like ‘cunt’ which some women may not like and prefer ‘pussy’ instead. ‘Ass’ or ‘butt’ is better than ‘arse’ or ‘backside.’ Try to balance being graphic alongside sounding polite, it can be a challenge but you’ll rise to the occasion and probably expand your vocab too. It will sure avoid any sexting fails!
When it comes things to say in bed to turn her on, making her feel desirable will help. Tell her that you find her sexy, be sweet and personal rather than sounding like a porn star with bad dirty talk. If she knows you’re turned on for her, it will excite her more than just threatening to make her wet. Put your money where your mouth is!
4. Saying nothing!
Okay so this is the opposite of things you should never say during sex but it still counts! Saying nothing can be worse than saying something slightly cringey. Nobody gets to enjoy sex as much if the person they’re with is acting like a zombie. Imagine having sex with a girl who just lies there and does nothing, she might move a bit but she’s completely silent.
It would not only be a bit creepy but also feel awkward. You want to know if she’s enjoying the sex as well and what she likes especially. So when the shoe is on the other foot, we want the same! Having sex with a guy who doesn’t make any noise feels odd.
We worry that you’re not enjoying it or rather if you are enjoying it physically, then why aren’t you saying anything? During sex, showing pleasure through a moan/groan or even a few quieter, “Oh yeah,” “Mmm” and “That feels so good” is perfectly normal.
If we ask you if you’re enjoying what we’re doing, we do actually like to receive a reply. Being met by silence is just weird. When it comes to things guys do in bed that girls hate, silence is definitely on the top of the list! Nobody is asking for Shakespeare, but some interaction works.
5. Asking or not asking permission
There’s a bit of a running theme here. When it comes to permission and consent, asking for permission before doing something is important. If you don’t ask and start doing something without checking that it’s OK with the girl, she’ll likely be pissed off.
This is especially true when it comes to alternative activities like spanking, anal, facials, choking, rimming, bondage and even more mild things like role play. You should never assume that a girl will be OK with something, just because you’ve done it before doesn’t mean she’ll want to do it again today.
Personally, I’m touched when my partner asks if I want to make love rather than just assuming I want to have sex because I’m in my undies when we go to bed or I’m wet. Seeing a girl in a provocative or intimate setting might make you think she may want to do something but you shouldn’t just assume. Even though we’ve been together for nearly 4 years, he still asks if I want to have sex or if I’m in the mood for anal play.
Being verbal with consent is about more than just legality. It conveys respect, trust, caring and is a good etiquette in any kind of encounter. Making the offer of going down on a girl is something she can either accept or decline. Instead of giving her oral when she might feel awkward about it and not actually be in the mood.
One of the things you should never say in bed is being vulgar when it comes to consent. Don’t say anything which makes an assumption that you have her consent. I.e “I’m going to put it up your ass now,” or “I’m going to shoot my spunk all over your face.” It can come across as being aggressive and a bit forceful which might alarm girls that their consent may not matter to you. These are defintely things you should never say during sex.
6. Saying “thank you”
Now while it can be nice to show appreciation, there are less cringey ways of doing so than literally saying “thank you” after sex. My husband would say to me after a nice weekend, “Thank you for a lovely weekend darling, I’ve really enjoyed today.” It was sincere, sweet and it wasn’t cringey because he’d usually say it in the car on the way home or when we were just watching TV before going to bed.
Saying “thank you” after sex however is probably fairly high on the list of things you should never say during sex. It’s a bit weird and can feel a bit transactional if you say it in the bedroom. While saying it to an escort might be acceptable as you’re thanking her for her time, saying it to a newish partner or a regular girlfriend can be odd.
If you want to show your appreciation, you can thank her without saying it in such a blunt way. After you’ve had your frisky business, you could tell her that you really enjoyed it. Or perhaps wait a while and then say that it felt really good when she made the effort to do X.
When knowing what to say during lovemaking it can be tricky. Everybody wants to feel appreciated so letting your partner know that the sex is special to you and pleasurable will go down well. Just don’t say “thank you” in the same way you would say it to a ticket collector cause that’s definitely one of the things you should never say during sex.
7. Asking her for head
Personally this is a pet peeve of mine. Giving oral to a guy can be great fun, it’s a chance to show off and lets us pleasure you. It usually features in role play and can be enjoyable all round. While also perhaps hinting to you that we might like some in return! (Just sayin’.)
When it comes to blowjobs, it’s best if you don’t ask her for head. Not only because it can come across a bit pushy by putting her on the spot. But more so that if she wanted to give you oral, she would do so. Instead if you ask for head, it can make things awkward or create pressure on her to perform an act which she didn’t independently choose to do. That’s why it deserves to be on the list of things you should never say during sex.
Myself, for a while I wasn’t keen on giving oral due to a bad experience where a guy tried to force me to do so. My man was supportive of that and understanding. Guess what? He got loads of blowjobs as a result! Why?
Because he left it down to me to decide when to play the pink trombone, he was respectful and loving. In turn, I could relax and actually enjoy giving oral rather than feeling obligated to perform. It’s about consent, respect and what both of you can take mutual pleasure from in bed.
A lot of my female friends have said the same thing has bothered them. Where guys assume that a blowjob is almost a ‘guaranteed’ thing in the bedroom and that things like facials or cumming in someone’s mouth are automatically OK without checking for consent. One friend broke up with her boyfriend because he came in her mouth after she’d explicitly told him she didn’t like it. It felt like-and technically was- sexual assault.
Simply put, when it comes to mistakes in bed, bad verbal communication around oral sex is tricky. Play it by the book and all will be well though! What’s on your list of things you should never say during sex?