Delayed ejaculation (DE) is a problem a lot of men experience. Yet not everybody actually knows what delayed ejaculation is and may be unsure about what treatments are available if you experience it.
Sometimes things go wrong in the bedroom. Delayed ejaculation often causes feelings of embarrassment and anxiety which affects a man’s performance. When someone feels awkward about something as intimate as their sexual performance, it can have a negative impact on their orgasm, enjoyment and by extension, their partner’s experience.
What is delayed ejaculation?
Delayed ejaculation is a common medical condition which affects men. It happens when it takes a long time for a man to cum even with sexual stimulus. For some men, having delayed ejaculation prevents them from reaching orgasm altogether. Which makes it frustrating for those who experience it and can also affect their partners.
Healthline indicates that doctors define delayed ejaculation as “when a man needs more than 30 minutes of sexual stimulation to reach orgasm and ejaculate.” That isn’t to say that you have delayed ejaculation if you decide to hold back from orgasm in order to last longer in bed. But that if you want to cum and are unable to do so, then you may have DE.
It’s also called “impaired ejaculation” as may affect men occasionally or could be a more regular problem. For some men it’s only a temporary glitch which they can overcome when they identify the underlying cause. Whereas for others it can become a lifelong challenge.
Delayed Ejaculation is a common problem without serious medical risks. But it does tend to cause frustration, anxiety and makes it harder for a man to feel confident with his sexual performance. Due to these implications, it also influences the sex life a man shares with his partner and might cause relationships to suffer if it becomes more of an issue.
Causes & Symptoms of Delayed Ejaculation
You may notice some of the following symptoms if you have delayed ejaculation.
- Struggling to reach orgasm during sex
- Only being able to climax during manual or oral stimulation
- Feeling close to orgasm but being unable to actually ejaculate.
- When a man finds it difficult to ejaculate in certain situations such as being with a particular partner or a different setting.
- It can sometimes be linked to other health problems such as heart disease or diabetes as they get worse.
When it comes to the causes behind Delayed Ejaculation, there’s usually multiple factors to take into consideration. Some of the reasons why men might experience Delayed Ejaculation are down to physical or biological factors while others can be more down to emotional or psychological issues.
Some chemicals also contribute towards the nervous system ejaculation involves. Which affects ejaculation with or without a partner. Such medications and chemicals that cause ejaculation problems are:
- antidepressants
- antipsychotics
- high blood pressure medications
- diuretics
- alcohol consumption
- use of recreational drugs.
Outside of external factors such as medication or recreational substances, you may also experience Delayed Ejaculation due to physical injuries.
- Nervous damage
- surgery that affects your prostate
- heart disease which alters blood pressure that impacts on erectile function
- urinary infections, neuropathy or stroke effects.
- Low thyroid function, low testosterone levels and hereditary conditions which impair the ejaculation process
Diagnosis & Treatment
When you’re experiencing the symptoms of Delayed Ejaculation, it’s easy to become disheartened and lose confidence. Being able to orgasm not just feels good but also plays a key role in your sexuality as a whole. Masturbation or sex with a partner both tend to favour ejaculation as the end goal.
Being unable to climax during sex or in certain kinds of sex causes frustration and often leads to depression. For the individual it reduces their satisfaction sexually and may make them avoid having sex/intimacy in general due to the perceived failure. While for couples it can become a bit of an elephant in the room which makes intimacy awkward and can affect emotions.
Going to see your doctor is the first step towards diagnosis and getting the right treatment for you. When you see the doctor at your local health centre, you can discuss your symptoms and perhaps have a physical examination. You will then undergo blood and urine tests if needed to rule out any underlying causes.
The tests check your system for hormonal imbalances, infections and any other health conditions which may affect ejaculation. Your doctor might also suggest to test your penis’ reaction to a vibrator to understand if the cause is psychological or physical. (Arguably you could borrow your girlfriends…)
What you can do at home
Experiencing Delayed Ejaculation can be upsetting for both you and your partner. Sometimes finding the solution can take longer than you’d like or you may be too embarrassed to see a doctor straight away. So knowing what you can do at home to help combat any ejaculation problems you may have will help.
You should try talking to your partner about it if it bothers you. Every man experiences difficulties in the bedroom on occasion and you aren’t the only one. Penises misbehave and sometimes even if you are turned on and enjoying what you’re doing, it can be a struggle to climax.
Rather than focus on the frustration of not being able to ejaculate, try and enjoy the rest of your experience. You can still enjoy intimacy without orgasm and your girlfriend shouldn’t worry that she’s doing anything wrong.
Some women will get a little insecure about why their partner is unable to climax. Often thinking that they’re not attractive enough or are doing it wrong. Delayed Ejaculation doesn’t mean you aren’t keen on your girl though, it usually has deeper seated issues that need to be solved.
Try to relax and let orgasm come naturally rather than force it. Trying different sex positions and techniques may help while sex toys such as cock rings or penis pumps can boost erections. But also being in the mood and relaxing enough to enjoy the activity is important.
Forcing it usually has the opposite effect you want and only makes things worse for both of you. It might be that you can climax during certain activities but not in sex. So you could combine mutual masturbation or play with your partner to the action that does get you off.