Rebound relationships happen. Being someone’s rebound boyfriend doesn’t have to be a disaster though. For some men, being in a rebound relationship works out well. It’s fun, intense and generally doesn’t have as much serious involvement.
On the other hand though, being her rebound relationship means facing the risk of being hurt. It isn’t strictly true that the easiest way to get over someone is by getting under somebody else. In fact that’s usually a bad idea. So when a woman seeks a rebound relationship, she may well want a good time rather than being in it for a long time. If you follow my drift…
If yo§u see any of these 4 signs that you’re her rebound relationship, take note. Being a rebound could work for you if it’s what you want. But if you’re looking for Mrs Right and she wants a rebound, it might not be a match made in heaven.
What is a ‘rebound relationship’?
Society usually defines rebound relationships as the relationship someone gets into quickly after a break up. Usually the break up is of a longer term relationship which tends to leave the rebound person hurt. Therefore, they get into a relationship with someone new to feel better about themselves, blow off steam and/or to try and move on.
There’s a difference between having a normal relationship after a break up and having a rebound relationship. When you go through a break up, most people take some time to get over their loss and give themselves time to move on. This lets them heal from the hurt, establish what went wrong and what they want in their next relationship.
In the case of a rebound relationship, the man or woman typically doesn’t want to be single. So they go out looking for somebody as a ‘rebound’ to cheer themselves up. It might be that they want a casual relationship which could lead towards something more serious. Although normally in a rebound relationship, it’s more the case that they just want fun and company so that they feel less lonely.
Sex dominates some rebound relationships which take a ‘no strings attached’ approach towards it. For some people, this works well as they want sex and fun times without commitment. However this is where the issue rises if one person wants one thing and the other wants something else.
Rebound relationships can become more long term, proper relationships if both people are interested in that. Things that start off casually don’t always stay casual if feelings become involved. But as is usually the case, it really depends on the individuals involved as to what develops.
1. Last minute booty
Sex is great. It’s something most people enjoy having as it feels good physically and often gives you a boost emotionally. In rebound relationships, sex often dominates your meetings when it’s a more no strings attached approach. For some people this is part of the appeal of casual relationships.
Rebound relationships often are thought of as being short term, intense relationships which form quickly and then fade. Of course you could be in a normal relationship where sex takes control too, due to both of you having high sex drives, strong chemistry or just liking it.
In a rebound relationship though, rather than having a whole date planned, it’s likely that she may call or text you specifically to arrange a booty call. Being someone’s booty call might suit you well if that’s what you’re happy with. But for some guys, you may want more than just NSA fun in the bedroom.
Communicating about what you both want and like in a relationship is important. Rather than letting her mislead you or you going along with what you think she wants, talk about it openly. If sex is on the menu, awesome but look after yourself both emotionally and physically with your health.
Chances are higher that you’re her rebound relationship if it started soon after her last break up or has developed from a one night stand. Of course, casual sex does sometimes lead to more serious relationships but if booty calls are the main reason you meet, keep it in mind that it might not be wedding bells soon.
2. Being secretive
When you’re having a casual relationship like a rebound relationship, she may want to keep it private. Rather than telling people she knows that she’s seeing someone new, it could be that she wants to wait longer until she’s more certain of what’s going on before making it public. Which makes sense. You don’t make an announcement to the world every time you go on a date.
But on the other hand, if she’s being secretive about your relationship, it could be a sign that you’re her rebound relationship. When she views you as a real boyfriend, she’ll likely want to introduce you to her friends and family. Plus she will probably be happy to go out in public and be seen together as a couple.
Rebound relationships though don’t always include the same level of visibility as normal relationships. A woman who only sees you as a casual rebound, probably won’t prioritise introducing you to her friends or family as much and may want to keep it quiet when you meet.
This doesn’t necessarily say anything about you but it reflects the way she feels about the relationship. Given time, she may change her mind and want to tell people about you and be seen in public if she’s more confident about it. But it’s a decision she has to make when she feels ready to do so.
If this bothers you, you can raise the topic with her in conversation and discuss how you both feel about it. It depends on the context too as to why she may want to be discreet. If she’s got strict religious parents with conservative views towards casual sex for example, she may be shy about telling friends and family due to the reactions she’ll receive.
3. Doesn’t discuss the future
When you’re in a happy relationship where both of you want there to be a future, you’ll talk about it. It’s a sign that you’re in a rebound relationship if you’re seeing a girl who doesn’t discuss the future. That’s not to say that it has to be a weekly conversation or even a particularly regular conversation at all.
But when you do both want there to be a future, you’ll make comments about plans for next week, next month or talk about holiday ideas. You’ll both want to do things together going forward rather than doing it separately. Hence it’s a pretty big sign that something is amiss in your relationship if she never refers to there being future plans.
In a rebound relationship, men and women often take a ‘live in the moment’ approach which reflects their own emotions at the time. Because they’ve recently been hurt by a break up, they may not want to get emotionally invested in the rebound relationship. Instead they view it as something fun which they are happy to go along with rather than to plan in advance.
This is one of the 4 signs that you’re her rebound relationship but it doesn’t have to spell doom and gloom for you. If the two of you become close and do want a future, relationships which start out as rebound relationships can develop into something more long term.
It’s also worth noting that in a lot of relationships, that aren’t rebounds, women and men may be reluctant to discuss the future. Often due to not being certain about what’s in store, trying to protect themselves from possible hurt and taking a more laidback approach.
4. Not emotionally available
When you go through a break up, it can be difficult to connect with someone new soon after. Having sex with someone or going on dates is fairly easy. It lets you relax, blow off steam and just have fun in the moment. But in relationships which have substance, most couples do develop emotional feelings as well. Which helps the couple bond together, deepens their intimacy and prepares for a future together as a couple.
In rebound relationships, the woman who seeks a rebound is likely to be less emotionally available than she ordinarily would be. Rather than wanting to create a full relationship, she may like you but be too hurt from her break up to let herself open up fully and connect.
Some women do have feelings for men without fully committing to the relationship. This doesn’t necessarily mean an emotional commitment or a physical one. Where somebody wants a relationship but doesn’t want to be monogamous or label it as a relationship, it reflects their own feelings about relationships rather than projecting any rejection towards you.
Unless you want the relationship to develop further, this might not be an issue. Not everybody wants to be in a committed, serious relationship. But if you’re seeing a woman you really like and think you may be her rebound relationship. Talk about it. It will make you feel a lot better to have an open conversation.