Birth control can affect your girlfriend’s sex life in a range of ways. Primarily by using hormonal contraception, her hormone levels will change accordingly.
Hormonal contraception can come in various forms. The most commonly used form however is the birth control pill. Although this is a misnomer as there are in fact multiple versions of the birth control pill available.
It’s helpful to know more about the birth control pill options available to your girlfriend. As each different pill can affect her health and sex life differently.
Hormonal birth control
Hormonal birth control covers a wide range of contraception. All of which works by introducing a synthetic version of naturally occurring hormones into the female body. This birth control then affects their menstrual cycle to prevent the conditions needed for successful conception.
- Birth control pills are taken daily at the same or similar time.
- Birth control injections (such as DepoProvera) last between 6 and 12 weeks.
- Contraceptive implants are inserted into the arm and can last up to 3 years.
- The coil/IUD (intra-uterine device) is inserted into a woman’s vagina and prevents fertilisation. These can be hormonal or non-hormonal depending on which best suits you.
Due to the birth control having hormones added to it, your girlfriend will experience changes in how her reproductive system works. By extension these changes will also affect her libido and your sex life generally. Which can have both positive and negative effects.
Some hormonal birth control pills will influence her libido, can affect weight, energy and even affect how sensitive parts of her body are. Every woman has a different and unique response to birth control, so if one pill suits one woman fine it may cause havoc for another, even if it’s the same pill.
Many men misunderstand the idea of ‘the pill’ and wrongly think there’s only one set pill available. When actually there are three main types of contraceptive pill given. One which is progesterone only, a combination pill and a mini-pill which is oestrogen only instead.
Some of the main benefits and perceived disadvantages of hormonal birth control can be summarised as follows:
- allows for spontaneous sex
- higher success rate vs condoms alone
- more intimate due to allowing skin-to-skin contact
- reduces the frequency of periods
- requires daily usage
- missed pills risk unplanned pregnancy
- not compatible when on some antibiotics/other medications
- if you’re sick (vomit or diarrhoea), the pill can be ineffective
- no protection against STIs
- unwanted side effects such as weight gain/loss, mood swings, headaches, nausea, diarrhoea, rise/drop in libido, cramps, irregular periods, negative impact on fertility
Barrier method contraception
In comparison to hormone based contraception, barrier method contraception doesn’t change the hormone levels whatsoever. Condoms, femidoms and diaphragms all act in a way to prevent sperm from entering the uterus.
Barrier method contraception is effective as long as the barrier doesn’t break. Condoms are around 97% effective at preventing pregnancy and STIs when used correctly. However due to wearing the wrong size, not using the correct lube or simple overuse, condoms can sometimes split.
If a barrier contraceptive fails, being on a form of hormonal contraception can provide a second line of defence. Often women will choose to take the pill/injection/have the coil and also ask their partners to wear a condom for extra protection.
Using both hormonal and barrier method gives double protection against unplanned pregnancy and protects you from STIs.
Common complaints around using barrier methods include:
- loss of sensitivity when you use a condom/femidom
- interrupting spontaneous sex
- finding them uncomfortable (often due to poor fit)
- having to plan ahead for them
- thinking they’re not needed when in a regular relationship
Impact on sex life
It goes without saying that any form of birth control will have an impact on your sex life. Both for you and your girlfriend individually and together as a couple. Using contraception can give reassurance that everything is taken care of. As few people want to risk an unplanned pregnancy unless they’re ready for a family.
Having contraception such as birth control pills in place can seem the obvious solution to this dilemma. Knowing that the pill is stopping anything unexpected can give couples the confidence to enjoy their sex lives. It allows for more spontaneous intimacy rather than having to plan when to have sex based on infertile days or potentially interrupt the moment by finding a condom.
Birth control pills can become a natural part of a woman’s morning habits. You don’t have to take the birth control pill at the same time as intercourse so there’s no chance of an ‘interruption.’ However it’s not without setbacks due to the risk of the pill being ineffective.
When your girlfriend takes the birth control pill, she may experience some of the unwanted side effects. Having worse PMS, cramps, nausea or headaches can all be off putting for a woman who is taking the pill. As such she may need to try different pills before finding the one which suits her best.
If your girlfriend experiences bloating, weight gain/loss or acne break outs due to the change in hormone levels, she may not feel as sexy. These side effects can knock a woman’s confidence and may make her feel anxious about intimacy. Also birth control can cause mood swings and drops in libido.
How to help your girlfriend
None of the side effects necessarily bode well for having passionate fun. But in order to support your girlfriend during this, talk openly about sex and discuss your contraceptive options together.
As a committed couple in a monogamous relationship, you might decide to leave out condoms and just rely on hormonal birth control. When you’re deciding whether to switch to the birth control pill, you should evaluate all the possible benefits and side effects. Don’t force your girlfriend to take the pill though if she isn’t keen, although you might prefer it, hormonal contraception isn’t always as simple as just popping a pill.
If you already have children or don’t plan on having any more, you could also consider a vasectomy. This is a permanent solution which doesn’t require your partner to take any birth control herself.
Being able to discuss your contraceptive options together as a couple will help you build trust and share decision making. You have equal responsibility in staying safe in the bedroom so discuss it as a couple.