Being good in bed is something most people want to be. It doesn’t mean you have a body like a sex god or stamina for hours. Becoming a master of sex also doesn’t mean you have to know everything about sex or do all of the different kinks out there.
Undeniably though there are some things you need to master to be good in bed. It doesn’t have to be anything bizarre, just some simple ways to improve your sex game. Which even if you’re already brilliant at sex, it’ll still be fun to practice!
Being good in bed links more into the psychology of sex than some people think. Confidence, consideration and keeping a connection to your partner will all help. Plus you can always brush up on your sex skills to be a better lover.
Be a considerate lover
It goes without saying that if you choose to be a considerate lover, more women will want to go to bed with you. Getting a woman into bed might not be a problem for you, but if you want to keep her coming back for more, being a gentleman helps.
Some of you might be reading this and thinking, ‘But I am a considerate lover already.’ In which case, good on you! For the sake of argument though, maybe we should recap over the ways you can be an even better considerate lover in bed.
- Make sure everything is consensual. Just because she’s gone to bed with you doesn’t mean she’s agreed to do anything you want. Especially with a new partner, you should check what she enjoys and ask consent if you’re unsure. This is extra important around more ‘out there’ activities like facials and anal or possibly more risque things like spanking.
- Foreplay – the build up to sex is just as important as the sex itself. It’s a way to ease into penetrative fun and should turn you both on more. Even if it doesn’t do as much for you, if your girl enjoys foreplay – you should go to town on it.
- Aim to give her pleasure too – have sex in positions she enjoys even if you’re less keen, foreplay fun, maybe even use some sex toys. Seeing her enjoy herself will make it more pleasurable for you.
- Keeping things clean and tidy. Personal hygiene is important before you get in the bedroom but cleaning up well afterwards is also key. Don’t leave her laying in the wet patch or cum all over her clean sheets. Tidy up dude!
- Use extra lube to make sex more comfortable for your girl.
- Start any penetration gently rather than rushing into it.
- Don’t make assumptions about what she likes and what is OK or not. Talk to her about sex and aim to do more of what she enjoys.
- Don’t try being Christian Grey with BDSM kinks if you don’t know she enjoys that.
Oral sex is important if you want to be good in bed
When you want to be good in bed, having a strong approach to oral sex will help. Plenty of men expect a blowjob as an inevitable start of any sexual encounter. Yet not as many guys always return the favour by performing oral sex on their girl.
Knowing how to perform oral sex well will go a long way towards making you good in bed. Part of it is in technique but also in enthusiasm. Don’t make her feel bad about wanting you to go down on her. When you go to eat pussy, aim to pleasure her and help her to relax.
You can become good in bed by improving your oral skills. Avoid these major mistakes with oral sex and focus on doing more of our tips! Want a porn star’s insight into oral sex? You’re in luck because Candee Licious tells all! Plus rather than leave your hands empty, you can use your mouth and your hands at the same time.
Who said men can’t multitask?
Hygiene & Grooming
When it comes to being good in bed, maintaining good personal hygiene is a must. It isn’t a sex skill as such but it will definitely make the whole experience better. If you’re going out on a date, the shower is a great place to start off.
Being clean, groomed and smelling good will automatically make you sexier. You’ll not only feel more confident when you’re with a girl, but she’ll find you more attractive too. Women value men who take pride in their appearance. Regardless of how you look, there are easy ways to embrace your inner stud.
Shower up with soap or shower gel. Just try not to overdo it by using a shower gel that’s too heavily scented. If you’re in doubt as to what your girlfriend likes, let her pick one out for you. Otherwise just scrub up so you’re fresh.
Either go totally clean shaven on your face or have neat, designer stubble. Should you be a bearded chap, keep it tidy and clean. Nobody wants to find yesterday’s dinner in your beard and tash. Also the pornstar mustache look is a bit 70s so try not to look like one of the Mario brothers, capiche?
As for pubic hair, I’d always recommend smooth balls and a neat triangle above. Having to play hunt the penis isn’t ideal when you’re giving a blowjob. No one really wants to have pubes in their mouth either. Trim the base of your shaft and keep it tidy above. A quick trim with your beard clipper will do the job easily.
Orgasm control
Having control over your orgasm is key to being good in bed. When you’re having sex with someone hot, it’s easy to get over excited and shoot your load early. But if you practice orgasm control, you’ll be able to maintain your performance. Not many people want to be a 2 pump charlie!
Tantric sex practices view sex as being a more emotional and spiritual experience than a purely physical one. Edging links into this as the orgasm itself becomes less important. Instead focus on your partner and if you feel yourself getting close, change what you’re doing and pause.
Every time you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, pull yourself back from the brink. As your orgasm control improves, you’ll be able to tell how far away you are from the peak and step back. Thereby bringing yourself to the edge regularly while having the confidence to know how close you are.
This is extra helpful if you ever experience premature ejaculation or have performance anxiety around orgasm. Knowing when you’re close to cumming will give you greater control over deciding whether you want to climax then or not. Which in theory should lead to a more intense orgasm when you do allow it.
Getting familiar with which sex positions or practices are more likely to make you cum or make you climax quicker will help when with a partner. But in addition to knowing your triggers, you also need to communicate.
Talk to your partner about what you both enjoy in bed. The things that turn you on, turn you off and get you off. Knowing what makes you climax will be most helpful here as it will help your partner be aware of an impending orgasm.
Orgasm control is just one method to use while we’ve also got a list of sex hacks to make sex last longer. Being good in bed is a lot easier when you’ve got your balls under control. That way you can cum when you want to rather than busting a nut too soon.