Edging isn’t just something you do to tidy up your lawn. Edging as a sexual practice is thought to give a more intense orgasm through the practice of orgasm control.
You can do it alone or with a partner, giving you both a chance to extend pleasure. But it can be a bit unclear what exactly edging is and how to do it properly. Some people think that getting blue balls is literally the only part of edging. (It’s not.)
Having better control of your orgasms can help you choose the kind of sex life you want and can lead to more intense orgasm. Sexual experiences should be exciting and satisfying for both of you. Knowing when you’re going to cum and controlling it can go a long way towards this aim of sexual fulfilment.
What is edging?
‘Edging’ as it’s known, is a sexual technique used to gradually bring yourself to the edge of orgasm. Then stop the stimulation to deliberately delay cumming. This can be done over a few minutes, an hour or even hours of pleasurable torture.
It’s not a sexual practice exclusive to BDSM culture. Although many dominatrixes do use edging as a method of teasing and ‘torturing’ their submissive or cuckold. It can apply to men and women although is usually done on a male partner.
Edging links into orgasm control and denial as well as being used by men who want to extend their erection either during masturbation or with a partner. When you’re having sex with your girlfriend, you might find yourself deliberately bringing her close to orgasm before leaving her hanging. This is edging.
Although it is popular in BDSM and is often used on submissive men by dominant partners. It’s a BDSM kink which is perfect for beginners but can also be included in vanilla sessions.
Edging – as a sexual technique
You can try edging as a sexual technique individually or with a partner. It works in any kind of masturbation, whether you use your hands, male sex toys or any combination therein. Equally you can also practice edging when with your partner although you may need to discuss things in advance!
When you play with yourself, try and slow down what you’re doing. Assuming you’re using your hands or a toy in some way, enjoy the process of getting hard. Should you watch porn when you’re playing, you could try watching something milder which you find arousing but won’t necessarily climax over.
Treat your initial play as a warm up period, get yourself hard and focus on enjoying the sensations as they come. In Tantric sex, the advice applies to keep your breathing deeper and regular. Don’t pant or breathe quickly as you get turned on, instead try to stay relaxed.
Instead relax and enjoy each sensation, slow down the experience and this will naturally delay your orgasm in a passive manner. When you feel yourself getting closer to cumming, pause what you’re doing and wait for the urge to drop. As you practice edging more, you’ll get to know when you’re close to climax.
Equally during sex, enjoy each sensation of your encounter rather than just thinking about climax. Cumming is an obvious part of intercourse but rather than viewing it as your end goal, within edging you should think of it more as a bonus.
Orgasm control
Having control over your orgasm is key to edging as a sexual practice. Tantric sex practices view sex as being a more emotional and spiritual experience than a purely physical one. Edging links into this as the orgasm itself becomes less important. Instead focus on your partner and if you feel yourself getting close, change what you’re doing and pause.
Every time you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, pull yourself back from the brink. As your orgasm control improves, you’ll be able to tell how far away you are from the peak and step back. Thereby bringing yourself to the edge regularly while having the confidence to know how close you are.
This is extra helpful if you ever experience premature ejaculation or have performance anxiety around orgasm. Knowing when you’re close to cumming will give you greater control over deciding whether you want to climax then or not. Which in theory should lead to a more intense orgasm when you do allow it.
When you control your own orgasms, solo edging requires you to know your own body. Getting familiar with which sex positions or practices are more likely to make you cum or make you climax quicker will help when with a partner. But in addition to knowing your triggers, you also need to communicate.
Talk to your partner about what you both enjoy in bed. The things that turn you on, turn you off and get you off. Knowing what makes you climax will be most helpful here as it will help your partner be aware of an impending orgasm. If you’d like her to edge you during a handjob or blowjob, she needs to know what gets you close as well as knowing when you’re nearly there.
Orgasm denial
By being able to identify how to control your orgasm, you can also explore orgasm denial. If you’re sometimes more submissive in the bedroom, a dominant partner may enjoy edging you close and then denying you the climax. It can be especially fun during tie and tease games of bondage or done in combination with spanking as a kind of punishment play.
Some people think orgasm denial might lead to blue balls. Urban myth suggests that having an erection for too long without cumming will cause you to have blue balls. Often men who don’t climax after a long erection can become uncomfortable due to the delay.
Symptoms associated with having ‘blue balls’ include pain or aching in the testes and a possible blueish tinge to the scrotum. Edging is a sexual practice intends to delay or outright prevent orgasm. As such some people think that edging will increase the risk of developing blue balls, properly known as epididymal hypertension (EH).
It is safe to experiment with orgasm denial/edging as long as you’re sensible about your limits. If you begin to experience discomfort, aching or notice any discolouration in your genital area, you should stop your activities. Prolonging your erection through orgasm control methods doesn’t have to be negative.
More intense orgasm
Part of the reasoning behind edging is that it will give a more intense orgasm when you do cum. This is down to anticipation increasing the excitement you experience during the build up. Rather than climaxing immediately when you feel the first rush, taking a step back and climbing the ride again can extend the pleasure.
When you’re having sex with a partner, she may enjoy edging you towards orgasm as it gives her control. If you like letting your girlfriend take charge, trying edging might work well for you. Orgasm control and denial can increase the thrill and anticipation during sex.
You can combine edging with spanking, bondage, domination role play and reward/punishment games. But if you choose to try edging by yourself, it can be helpful in understanding your own sexuality as an individual.
Improving your orgasm control will help combat against premature ejaculation during sex or foreplay activity. By deliberately putting off climax, it can let you enjoy other parts of sex just as much. Instead of seeing orgasm as the end goal. And if edging leads to a more intense orgasm, there’s no reason to not try it, is there?