There are things guys do in bed that girls hate, we can’t lie and say everything is 100% perfect. You may think you’re God’s gift to women. You never do anything that could possibly annoy us… It’s amazing, you’re the perfect, considerate and generous lover every woman dreams about… Okay, so maybe that’s not 100% true but every man wants to be the best he can be, right? This is why we’re bringing you a list of 15 things guys do in bed that girls hate.
There are some things you know will be popular in the bedroom. Being good in bed is a key feature but there’s also other aspects of sex which can sometimes go wrong. But what are they? What if you’re giving it your A game and she thinks it’s more of a C+?
Thankfully, we’re here to warn you about the top 15 things guys do in bed that girls hate! Take notes and keep listening – of course you’ve never done any of these… but let’s check eh?
#1 Brief oral
Top of the list of complaints related to oral. Specifically, not giving it for long enough. When your girl enjoys oral, we really want to enjoy it for longer. A quick 30-second lick isn’t really going to cut it!
When you’re going down on a girl, make sure to take your time and give her the full experience. She’s not an ice cream where just a lick here and there will do the job. No way! Instead of rushing straight to her clit, build up the anticipation.
Now you might be thinking – “How do I make oral last longer?” Luckily for you, we can tell you what women wish you knew about oral sex! And give you expert tips on how to improve your O-game.
Want more? Candee Licious gave her best tips for great head!
#2 Farting in bed
Let’s be honest, everybody farts. Anyone that says they never fart is probably telling a fib. They can be silent and deadly, noisy and harmless or any combination of whatever you’ve eaten. It happens but when it happens in bed, it can be slightly more awkward.
If you feel the thunder brewing, excuse yourself to the bathroom and let it rip. Don’t fart while your girlfriend is going down on you, you’ll probably never hear the end of it and honestly, neither will her girl friends!
Farts in the bedroom can cause laughter for both parties but heading to the bathroom is a good shout. Plus if you know certain things might set you off, maybe don’t eat them before planned fun time. If it happens in front of your girl though, say excuse me and try to shrug it off. Now isn’t really the time for schoolboy jokes and if it whiffs a bit, maybe open the window yeah?
#3 No affection afterwards
Now you might think that once the action is finished that it’s all good to lie back and do sweet FA. But I’m afraid that’s not strictly true. Most women do expect some affection after the sex has finished and arguably most guys enjoy it too.
Obviously it depends on your relationship with the girl and whether it’s someone you’ve recently met or a longer term girlfriend. But after getting intimate to have sex, offering a cuddle and kissing her is fairly acceptable.
All she can do is say “no” after all but post-sex cuddles are usually a win-win. Experts have confirmed that cuddles and skin-on-skin contact increase the amount of oxytocin released. This is basically the ‘cuddle hormone’ which makes you feel good and helps you relax.
Having a cuddle or kisses, some gentle fondles are often a nice way to unwind after the ‘main event.’ Think of it as an after-dinner aperitif which just wraps up the session nicely.
#4 Falling asleep
Cuddles after sex may be welcome but what isn’t welcome is falling asleep right away and it definitely deserves to be on the list of 15 things guys do in bed that girls hate. Pillow talk may be called pillow talk but unsurprisingly, you actually need to be awake to do it! Women often complain about guys just falling asleep when they’ve orgasmed and thinking that’s okay.
I’m sorry to say guys but it’s true. It is kind of a buzz kill if you nod off immediately when you’ve got your rocks off. Especially if your girl hasn’t been able to climax herself yet or if she’s wanting a cuddle.
Smugly I can say that my partner always checks that I’m satisfied after sex is concluded. He’s certainly a good handyman! Now not everyone necessarily wants to get frisky again afterwards but nodding off is a no-no.
If you think you’re about to fall asleep, at least mention it to your partner and give her a kiss. Because if she’s chatting away and then hears you snoring, she may be a little p… annoyed.
#5 Making a mess
Now we know orgasms can be a messy business. It’s sometimes hard to control where your spunk ends up. After all it can shoot out with some force and unexpectedly. But that’s not really a good enough excuse for making a mess.
Especially not if it lands on our freshly laundered bedding, hair or us. Cum on lingerie is a complete pain to get rid of. If you don’t realise it’s there, it goes crusty and if you touch it, it’s slime. So lesson for the day, clean up after yourself and be tidy.
The most annoying thing a guy has ever done during a sleepover was climaxing under the duvet without warning. It went on me, on the sheets and all over him. Needless to say, there was not another date after that.
You have two hands for a reason. If tissues aren’t easily to hand, cup your cock to catch your swimmers before they splash everywhere. Women all over the world will thank you for it.
Tissues are your best friend for this. Keep some at the side of the bed or even wet wipes. If you get it onto the bedding or clothes, clean it up. Don’t leave it to your girl to do it. She won’t be very impressed even if she doesn’t say anything about it to you! She will add it to her list of things guys do in bed that girls hate.
#6 Facials
Now we all know facials aren’t rocket science. When you’ve asked your girlfriend if she likes them and she’s agreed, there are some tips you should follow. Foremost, your aim will help so stand closer to her and do your best to direct your spunk to where it’s meant to go.
In this case, her face. If you know she likes it, aiming for her mouth and the lower half of her face is better. Unless she’s said she’s cool with it, avoid the hair. Because literally, cum is a sticky thing at the best of times but if you get it in a woman’s hair on the wrong day… You’re dead.
Avoid the hair at all costs. If you know your load usually flies wild then deliberately position yourself to allow for this. If your girl moves herself into her preferred position, let her. But most of all, make sure that any facials are agreed and well executed. No one wants to be blinded by spunk.
#7 Being heavy handed
Sex can be clunky at times and awkward. But when things go wrong, it can often be due to being heavy handed. Now in some cases this is a total accident and you might not even realise what you’ve done.
If you’re touching a girl, be gentle. Especially when squeezing her breasts, as nipples and breasts are more sensitive than other parts of the body. Equally, if you’re squeezing her butt or spank her, make sure that it’s enjoyable rather than being too rough which might hurt.
When you touch her intimately, making sure there’s enough lube used will make it more pleasurable. Dry fingers or her not being wet enough, can cause foreplay and sex to be rough and uncomfortable.
After any kind of fun, making sure you have good sex aftercare in place will also help.
#8 Trying anal without asking
Never try to start an activity without first checking if your partner would like to do it. While normal sex may be fine, you shouldn’t assume she might want to have anal sex or play. It may seem harmless to you to slip a finger in her backdoor, but if she isn’t expecting it or just isn’t in the mood then it won’t be a fun surprise.
When you know she already likes rimming, it may be welcome if you gently lick her there as a surprise during oral or if you offer to do so and she accepts. But this is different to anal fingering or using anal toys which might not be on the menu tonight even if she ordinarily likes them. If anal goes wrong, it can cause pain or injury.
Anal is super popular in porn but it isn’t necessarily an everyday kind of sex. If your girlfriend seems uncomfortable, don’t pursue it and if you’ve only just met someone, do not try anything without having her consent first.
A lot of girls have said it’s a massive turn off and a red flag if a guy tries doing something which they haven’t discussed beforehand. This can often cause women to feel pressured into doing an act they don’t like or even if they normally like it, they then feel forced to perform even when not in the mood.
Porn is totally different to real life and sex should always be pleasurable, respectful and mutually chosen by both parties.
#9 Not giving her an orgasm
We know it can be tough to make us climax. But making the effort to give a girl an orgasm will earn brownie points. Women complain so often about men not even trying to make her climax that it had to go on the list of things guys do in bed that girls hate.
One orgasm often is considered enough either! Maybe we’re a bit greedy in wanting multiple hits while men get one main rush but we do have a vagina for a reason. Women can have multiple orgasms and as brilliantly explained by Naomi Wolf women’s bodies are more complex.
The luxury of being able to have multiple orgasms shouldn’t be wasted. So when you get down to it, giving your girl a good time will often mean she gives you one too. She may well give you clues that she wants more sex and boy, it’s your time to shine.
When you’re in the bedroom, try to pleasure her to climax both through foreplay and the penetrative sex. You can aim to make her cum through oral sex, fingers and also through penis-in-vagina sex. If you score on 2/3 or 3/3 then you’re certainly doing well to please!
#10 Skipping foreplay
Nobody wants to feel like a car being filled up with petrol. You can’t just stick it in. It’s not pleasurable for us and unless we specifically say “I want you in me now!” it’s not likely to go down well. This is one of the most important things guys do that girls hate. Skipping on foreplay can make the experience feel rushed and not set the mood right.
Foreplay is like an appetiser. It wets the appetite and gives you a chance to warm up. Kissing, fondling, oral on both of you and all round getting horny are part of the fun. It’s not much fun to have two minutes of snogging and then be staring at the ceiling for six minutes.
We don’t want it to be rushed and as said earlier up, skimping on oral sex is not a good move. Women have a different body to men, whereas you’re good to go as soon as you’re stiff, we need to relax and get wet first. This seldom happens through a single snog!
If foreplay is rushed and you try to stick it in, not only can we feel objectified but it can also hurt. Being gentle at the beginning of intercourse is always better but actually building up to it makes it more pleasurable too.
Jumping in at the deep end doesn’t work whereas warming up to it through oral, fondling and teasing creates anticipation. Not just for us but also for you. There’s so many new ways that a girl can touch you, why not ask her to try something new also?
#11 Reluctance to use a condom
Nothing is less sexy than the risk of an STI or unwanted pregnancy. When a girl asks you to use a condom, you should agree and do it without argument. Trying to persuade her to go bare or to risk her health is not okay and it is definitely not respectful. That will never get off the list of things guys do in bed that girls hate.
You have to respect her choice and her right to have safe, consensual sex. In the same way that you wouldn’t want a girl to force you to skip a condom if you wanted to use one, you shouldn’t try to change her mind.
Condoms are in everyone’s best interests and you shouldn’t be reluctant to use them.
Women have higher stakes at risk than men often because pregnancy is more likely to affect them emotionally and physically than you if an accident happens. When with a new partner, using a condom is always safer to protect against STIs.
Even as regular contraception in a relationship, it’s your best chance at avoiding any unwanted STIs or unplanned pregnancy. When a girl takes the pill, it isn’t fail proof and you should take the time to know about contraceptive options.
It should be obvious but even when you are having unprotected sex, never ejaculate inside a girl unless she explicitly agrees to it. Doing so without her consent can be classed as assault and puts both of you at unnecessary risk of STIs and unplanned pregnancy.
#12 Pulling, pinching and pushing
Hair pulling in porn may look sexy. Fair enough. But if somebody yanks your hair roughly without warning, it’s not much fun. As with any kind of sex, you want to avoid hurting your partner or being too hard.
The same goes for pushing in too hard during sex. It’s not comfortable for a girl if you keep thrusting in like a jack hammer. Our G spot is located approximately 2 inches inside our vaginas towards the small of our back.
Now while passion is fun and can be really hot. There’s a time to get rough and raunchy. Pushing in too hard can cause discomfort and even injury in some cases. While pulling hair too hard or indeed any part of the body, is uncomfortable.
Pinching is another ball game. Unless your girl is into BDSM, most women aren’t going to enjoy a painful pinch. If you do tweak her nipples in play, make sure you do it gently and watch her reaction. If she looks uncomfortable, apologise and remember to be more gentle.
Less is more, making sure you understand your girlfriend’s preferences in bed will make both of you happier. Knowing what she enjoys will help make sure you’re not one of those guys that do things girls hate! Nobody wants to upset a girl so much that she doesn’t want to have sex.
#13 Being silent
Sure it can be awkward knowing what to say during sex. Nobody is asking for Shakespeare or for you to crack a joke. But we do want to know you’re enjoying it.
Moans, groans and grunts might be over kill but showing that you’re enjoying it is good. If we ask you if you’re enjoying it, actually giving a reply is better than just a mumble or worse, silence.
Showing that you’re having fun is great. Smile at us, tell us if something feels extra good or ask if we’re enjoying whatever you’re doing. Maintaining a connection during sex will help bring both of you closer together and help avoid doing things that make it awkward.
#14 Blowjobs
Another one on the list of 15 things guys do in bed that girls hate, is being rough during a blow job. Being gagged on a cock due to a guy pushing your head down during head is not fun. While you might not mean to be rough, it’s better to let her do her thing.
Sit back and watch, while a gentle hand on the side of her head may be okay, putting your hand on top isn’t ideal. It can feel forceful and be uncomfortable just by putting pressure on her neck or making her position more awkward.
Similarly to the issues with giving a facial, don’t climax in her mouth without permission. Nothing is more unpleasant than getting a mouthful of cum without warning. If CIM does appeal to you, check with your girlfriend if she likes it first.
#15 Socks
Okay this is a bit of a cheap shot but socks are never a good look. They might be necessary items of clothing but when you’re in bed, don’t keep your socks on. Take them off! Honestly unless you’re Zac Efron, standing naked with just your socks on isn’t a great deal.
Why? We’re more likely to giggle than to gush with arousal. On the other hand, sometimes sex partially clothed can be quite erotic – but more a half-unbuttoned shirt rather than socks.
This was our list of 15 things guys do in bed that girls hate. Were you doing any of them?